(Firstly, by "Big" I merely mean "Older", as my "Big" sister, is about half a foot shorter than me, so in actuality, I'm the "Big" one. Bigger one. Whatever.)
(I'm a bit sensitive when mentioning words that have to do with size, since once, in about third grade, I wrote in a note that someone was "my BFF", which just about everyone on the planet -- except the recipient of said note -- knew meant "Best Friend Forever". Said recipient thought I was using some new-fangled abbreviation that stood for "Big Fat Friend". Seriously! But we're still friends today, 2089707232 years later, so it's all good, I suppose.)
Enough parenthesizing...on with the entry, this is it!:
Saturday, I was having a bad day. No. Bad day implies that my pantyhose had a run in them and I stepped in a mudpuddle, spilled some coffee in my lap, and was maybe admonished by an ogreish office manager for being two minutes late to work. Temporarily misplaced my cell phone. Had to deal with a couple of difficult clients. That's a bad day.
What I was having was a worse-than-that day. The kind of day where it just seems like the entire planet hates you so much, if it weren't for the whole gravity thing, you would merely be ejected from the earth's surface, spit out into the atomsphere like a piece of bad apple, and probably burnt to a crisp or something. And it would be the leading story on the news. And folks would actually giggle. And by folks, I mean just strangers, members of the general population who'd actually never you, not like, boys whose hearts you'd broken or sworn enemies since grade school or anything.
Nothing particularly tragic was going on, but nothing was exactly working out, either. About a million little things were going wrong and they were all going wrong at the worst possible moment and I felt drained and defeated and just...quite frankly, like I sucked at every single aspect of life. And PMS had no role in this melodrama, friends.
I announced to everyone in the checkout lane at the Wal-Mart that I was (and I quote) "thisclose to having a full-on nervous breakdown!"